"Am I happy?
Yes, I think I am,
but then, when I think, I get in trouble, mostly.
But I can't "not think". If I do "not think" then I
cease to be. Who the hell really knows?
And, more importantly, who the hell really cares?
...The cacophony of thoughts I think, tell me that I am happy
because of what I see, hear, think, touch or smell....
Maybe, but conceptual mind smells like bullshit dipped in honey."
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I recently read an article about how many people, after engaging in a consistent meditation program, come to realize that happiness is not what they thought it was.
As I explain above, "when I think, I get in trouble mostly."
Every thought does not bring trouble but sometimes thoughts bring anxiety or confusion, which, in my opinion, are types of "trouble." Thing is, while I am alive, I cannot stop thinking. Thinking is one of the sure indications that I am still breathing and walking around.
I realize that "who the hell really knows?" is kind of confusing. I need confusion sometimes and it can be a prerequisite to gaining the clarity we need to move forward. Then again, lots of people seem to have answers for everything and are not timid about giving advice to everybody they know. I have learned that a closed mouth but an open heart is frequently more effective than trying to advise people.
The cacophony here is the constant jabbering that happens inside our heads. The perpetual story-line that is created in our minds and that we many times repeat to others to make ourselves acceptable. Living in the south, I am a fan of Pepsi Cola. I sometimes drink Coca-Cola but being from the Atlanta area, everybody seems to think that it is odd for a southerner to like Pepsi. But, I like being an individual and not going along with the crowd.
The five senses: hearing, smelling, touching, tasting and seeing seem to be in control of almost everything I think. While we cannot deny the senses we can work to keep ourselves from not forming ultimate judgements about things based simple on the senses.
What is the "conceptual mind?"
The "conceptual mind" refers to the part of our mind that processes thoughts, ideas, labels, and mental constructs rather than directly experiencing reality. It is the layer of cognition that interprets, categorizes, and organizes our experiences into concepts and narratives.
Explanation:
Imagine seeing a tree. Your direct experience is just the raw perception—the colors, textures, and movement of leaves in the wind. However, your conceptual mind immediately labels it as "tree," connects it to past knowledge, and may even bring up thoughts like "trees provide oxygen" or "this reminds me of my childhood home."
While the conceptual mind is essential for communication, learning, and problem-solving, it can also create mental barriers. It filters reality through pre-existing beliefs, making it easy to get caught in assumptions, judgments, and overthinking. Insight meditation helps us recognize when we are lost in conceptual thinking and instead return to direct experience—seeing things as they are without the extra mental layers.
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